


It's been quite a long time

by salvatorestjohn



Series: Rarepair Rowboat [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Past Relationship(s), Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:02:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23033671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salvatorestjohn/pseuds/salvatorestjohn
Summary: Hearing the name was the first thing that tipped Joe off. When Barry said it while talking about Firestorm, he thought surely not.Surely it’s a different Martin Stein, somehow. He can’t quite tell if he was hoping he was right or not, but he convinced himself he was, that it’s all just a big coincidence. But here he is, and there’s Martin. Standing across from him in the Cortex of S.T.A.R. Labs. Despite it being well over a decade or so, he knows immediately that it’s him.
Relationships: Martin Stein/Joe West
Series: Rarepair Rowboat [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693537
Kudos: 7





	It's been quite a long time

Hearing the name was the first thing that tipped Joe off. When Barry said it while talking about Firestorm, he thought _surely not._

Surely it’s a different Martin Stein, somehow. He can’t quite tell if he was hoping he was right or not, but he convinced himself he was, that it’s all just a big coincidence.

But here he is, and there’s Martin. Standing across from him in the Cortex of S.T.A.R. Labs. Despite it being well over a decade or so, he knows immediately that it’s him.

Martin shifts slightly, eyes down, focused on nothing particularly interesting as the team talks away, unaware that neither of them are in their little bubble.

He saw him, Joe knows. They looked right at each other the second he walked into the room. He watched Martin’s eyes widen behind those same glasses, the look of utter bewilderment on his face. And in came Barry and Iris and the rest of the team, going straight into introductions and figuring out a game plan.

Joe thinks it’s a good thing; it gives him time to wrap his head around this properly, think through what to say when he gets the chance. But no matter what runs through his mind, nothing feels right. Nothing eases the twisting, churning mixture of feelings he’s got going on inside of him right now.

“Joe?” Barry asks at last, snapping him out of his daze, dragging his eyes over to meet his slightly concerned gaze. “Does that sound okay?”

In all truth, Joe has no idea what the hell Barry just said. His eyes dart off to the left.

“Uh, what? Sorry, didn’t catch that last part.”

Martin’s eyes flick to him for the second time since he walked in.

“I asked if you could stay here with Stein, make sure everything’s okay here while we head out to catch the Meta,” Barry repeats gently, and Joe’s aware that he’s gonna get a few questions about this later.

For now, he nods. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Just be back soon, alright? There’s only so long I can stay away before Singh comes back to revoke captain from me.”

Barry laughs at that. He promises, and he, Cisco, and Ralph head out while Caitlin and Iris relocate to the lab in the back of the room to go over what they have so far on one of their other cases.

Leaving just him and Martin. Alone again.

Martin clears his throat and Joe lifts an eyebrow an inch, watching him, waiting with this annoying little flutter in his chest.

“So…” Martin starts uncertainly, but he’s looking at him, right in his eyes. “It’s been quite a long time, hasn’t it?”

Joe makes a quiet noise at that, half a snort, half a chuckle. “I guess forty-six years is a long time, yeah, you could say that.”

Martin falters, as if he thought maybe he wouldn’t remember. Or at least wouldn’t know how long in exact numbers.

He draws in a deep breath, then nods.

“Things have certainly…” he lifts a hand to gesture at him, letting it fall back to his side a second later, “…changed. I hear you’re a detective now.”

“Well, I was majoring in law when we met, that shouldn’t be all that surprising,” Joe points out.

Martin smiles. It almost feels forced. Sad.

“It’s not. I’m happy for you,” he says, sincere. “And rather proud. Working part-time out of a lab? I thought you once said that science just ‘wasn’t your thing’.”

“Oh, it’s still not.” Joe shakes his head, making a face as he glances around. “I’m just here to help out with the arrests and legal side of things, and because of Iris.”

He stops after he says it. It hadn’t really processed in his mind before it left his mouth. Martin’s still wearing that smile, nodding now. He’s got that look in his eyes; he always used to get it before, when he was trying to hide something.

“Yes. Iris. Your daughter. She’s rather lovely. And a lot like you, from what I’ve seen.”

“Well…” Joe shrugs. “I did raise her alone from the age of eleven. Guess some things just sort of stuck.”

There’s a flicker of surprise in Martin’s expression. He doesn’t comment on it, doesn’t ask. Joe’s admittedly a little relieved. Telling him about Francine just isn’t a conversation they need to be having right now.

“I imagine you’re incredibly proud of her,” Martin says. “You should be. She’s been nothing but kind to me since I got here. Very intelligent. Would make an excellent detective as well.”

“Yeah, that’s what she said when she wanted to sign up. I talked her out of it.”

Martin nods, as if that makes complete sense to him. There’s a glint in his eyes.

“You did say you’d never let your child go through the same tedious process as you did,” he says. “It’s good to see not everything is different now.”

Joe hums in the back of his throat. He swallows and waves a hand vaguely at him.

“And–hey, I heard you have a kid, too. A daughter? Caitlin talks a lot about her. They went to some college together, I think?”

Martin nods again, though looks a little thrown. “Yes. They did. Lily is rather fond of her.”

“And… her mother sounds lovely.”

Caitlin’s mentioned her a couple times as well from what he can remember of the snippets of casual conversation. Just little things about going with Lily for family dinners.

The comment definitely catches Martin by surprise. Joe doesn’t really know what he’s expecting, but he hates that a little part of him is waiting with so much anticipation and dread, already regretting saying it at all.

“Yes,” Martin says again, then shakes his head, clearing his throat. “Yes, she is rather extraordinary. A brilliant mother, too.”

That same part of Joe sinks. It’s just a little stab in his chest, nothing too painful, but still enough.

He presses his lips into what he can muster of a smile. “That’s good. I’m happy for the two of you.”

Something seems to register. Martin rubs at his jaw with his left hand. It’s an old habit, a nervous tick he used to have and apparently still does, and that’s why it takes Joe a moment to notice the lack of a ring.

His eyes widen a touch in realization before Martin even speaks. He wasn’t going to say anything about it himself; like he said, things have changed since they knew each other. For all he knew, feelings and a whole lot more could have as well.

“Clarissa and I are no longer together,” Martin tells him. He pauses, lifts his eyes to meet his. “We divorced a few years back. After I told her the truth.”

The truth. “Oh,” Joe says slowly.

“It was for the best,” Martin says, shrugging. “I loved her more than anything, but…”

“But you weren’t being honest with yourself,” Joe fills in the blanks.

Martin stares at him. “Precisely.”

They both know, the unspoken thing between them, desperately calling out for one of them to just acknowledge it.

Rehearsing possible lines in his head hasn’t done him any good. It’s like there’s this giant elephant just sitting in the corner of the room and they’re both supposed to pretend it’s not there. But Joe’s never really been all that great at ignoring things.

“I feel like I should be apologizing,” he says, chuckling nervously.

Martin’s brow furrows. “For what?”

Joe tilts his head and softens his voice. “You know what. All of it. I just…” He sighs, shaking his head now, trying to find the right words to explain.

“You weren’t the one who ended things between us, Joe,” Martin says quietly. “If anything, I should be the sorry one.”

“No, I shouldn’t have pushed you like I did,” he says. “I got too caught up in it all. I thought that everything would magically be perfect after college.”

“You can’t blame yourself for liking the idea of a perfect world or wanting to get a little lost in a romance.”

Joe just shakes his head again, pressing his lips together, a knot pulling tight in his stomach.

“I was the one who pushed you away, remember?” Martin points out, stepping closer. His hands are moving as he talks, palms up, like he always used to do. “I shouldn’t have, I know that now, but I got scared.”

“Of course you were scared,” Joe scoffs, gesturing around them. “The world was terrifying back then–still is! Our entire relationship was against the law and every second day there was some news story about people like us dying.”

Even just remembering it makes him sick to his stomach. The fear that was instilled in him. In Martin. They always tried to push it away, focus on the good between them. But it was harder, and the secrecy didn’t help.

Martin stops in front of him. The look on his face is so familiar, it reminds him that not everything has changed. The _way_ he’s looking at him. A small comfort settles in his chest.

“That’s why I had thought that what I was doing for the best. Ending things for both our sakes before it even really started. But–”

Martin shakes his head, his mouth stretching up into that smile. His shoulder sink and he sighs.

“I still regret it,” he says. “To this very day. I thought that that day was the last I would ever see you, and I’ve spent forty-six years since wishing it had gone differently. I never wanted to lose you from my life.”

Joe’s biting his cheek so hard he worries it might bleed. He breathes slowly, his eyes stinging, and he blinks, glancing away from him.

“Yeah, that was the part I hated the most,” he says, his voice tight and straining to his own ears. The pain is finally sinking back in after being ignored for all those years, and it’s a lot heavier than he thought it would be.

“I really did love you, you know,” Martin says softly.

Joe nods, biting harder. He meets his gaze again, and it’s taking everything in him.

“I know,” he tells him, sincere. He never doubted it, not really. “I loved you, too.”

Neither of them knows what to say now. It’s like they’ve torn the barely healed skin off of an old wound, ripping it open to bleed out all over again. The elephant is gone.

“Hey, dad?”

Joe’s eyes widen and he quickly blinks, looking over at Caitlin’s makeshift lab to see Iris peering out of the doorway. It was easy to forget they were only separated by two panes of glass with no actual door.

“Yeah, baby?” he asks, hoping that she didn’t notice.

“Would you be able to do a coffee run for us?” she asks, and smiles widely. “Please?”

Relief sinks in. She seems blissfully unaware of anything that just happened, her attention clearly caught up in the work.

He chuckles and nods. “Yeah, sure. But, uh…”

He glances at Martin, uncertain. Martin smiles back at him and shrugs.

“I’ll come with you. I doubt anyone’s going to attack me in the middle of a coffee shop.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, we’ve seen stranger,” Joe says, and Iris agrees.

Martin’s smile widens. “I’ll have to take my chances then. Believe me, I need some fresh air, as lovely as this place is.”

“Great!” Iris says. “Oh, and could you maybe throw in a croissant or something? Cait’s hungry and threatened to eat me.”

“Hey! You’re the one who said that!”

Joe shakes his head at them, rolling his eyes. He gestures to the entrance and starts walking, Martin going with him.

“Be back soon!” Iris calls to them.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this as a drabble thing for the rarepair moodboards I'm doing over on Tumblr, and I just got super into this ship for some reason, so I decided to post it here as well. I just love the idea of them dating in high school or college at some point, because they would have been adorable, and then obviously have some big, angsty breakup, only to reunite and get back together forty-six years later. I mean, what a love story, am I right?


End file.
